There have been some interesting discussions over the last few weeks about responsibilities and accountability. Who is responsible for what in the home, at work and also in the coaching relationship? Ultimately you as a person can only exercise control over yourself and you are responsible for yourself, your own life and making yourself happy, calm, etc. You are also responsible for the tasks necessary to get there – you decide what to do and you have to do it.
Of course, along the way you may need support, ideas, time to think and other tools, such as coaching, to enable you to realise what you want and how you are going to get it.
It can be hard to accept among all the noise of life that you also have to ensure your own needs are being met. It can be tricky to navigate when you may already have responsibilities towards a job, kids and others. The pursuit of personal fulfilment can feel selfish or indulgent – but no one else will do it for you and it is vital to a fulfilled and purposeful life.
Coachee’s can sometimes come to coaching looking for the answers or looking for someone to make them accountable. I sometimes think about the phrase, “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; show him how to catch fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” Translated into coaching this means I guide people to consider what is important and motivating to them rather than telling them. I enable them to equip themselves with the tools to move forward. A premise of coaching is that the coach is not invested in the outcome – i.e. I don’t mind what your values are, or your purpose is it is more about the journey together whilst you discover what you need to about yourself.
So, the answer to “who cares” must be you – however big and effective your support network, when it comes to your happiness and fulfillment, the buck stops with you.
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